Sakbetgat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, cheerful gorilla.

Sakbetgat created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakbetgat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakbetgat, she will turn you into a puffin.

Sakbetgat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sakbetgat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never allow pigs to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never jump in summer.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never wear brown boots.