Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered armadillo.

Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Wankabhat Midmeghat Kikfenhuncem loves pigs, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Never feed rice to shrews while wearing shorts.