Lagwip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, proud armadillo.

Lagwip created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagwip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lagwip, she will think nothing of it.

Lagwip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Lagwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near cats while wearing purple rings and balancing six silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.