Hadhabmet Dunparkbun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonourable gorilla.

Hadhabmet Dunparkbun created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Hadhabmet Dunparkbun, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hadhabmet Dunparkbun, he will think nothing of it.

Hadhabmet Dunparkbun's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hadhabmet Dunparkbun's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Do not take Hadhabmet Dunparkbun's name in vain.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.