Zakmumsak is a god.

He takes the form of a large, amazing ant.

Zakmumsak created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakmumsak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zakmumsak, he will destroy your home solar system.

Zakmumsak's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Zakmumsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Put Zakmumsak first in all things.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Feed all hungry geese.