Bumquartcub Tarlitkem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful hamster.

Bumquartcub Tarlitkem created the Sunflower Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumquartcub Tarlitkem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bumquartcub Tarlitkem, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bumquartcub Tarlitkem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bumquartcub Tarlitkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bumquartcub Tarlitkem's name in vain.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near snails while wearing red rings and balancing seven silicon spheres on your legs.

5. Do not shave your back.