Bonbindabtun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing walrus.

Bonbindabtun created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonbindabtun, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonbindabtun, it will be very unhappy.

Bonbindabtun's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bonbindabtun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Bonbindabtun loves bats, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about optics near geese while wearing fawn dresses and balancing four silicon spheres on your head.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.