Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unthinking owl.

Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip, she will send you a sign.

Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip.

2. Never think about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing pink shirts and balancing six silicon spheres on your neck.

3. You must pray to Danwiploop Sanpakgedwip seven times a day.

4. Never talk about special relativity near ants while wearing red kilts.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.