Narkenzogbogxuck is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, sage mole.

Narkenzogbogxuck created the Black Eye Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narkenzogbogxuck, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Narkenzogbogxuck, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Narkenzogbogxuck's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Narkenzogbogxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shirts.

2. Always treat doves with great respect.

3. Never talk about special relativity near moths while wearing brown boots and balancing seven zinc spheres on your back.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Hide if eight tapirs approach from the east.