Omtkadmit is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy jaguar.

Omtkadmit created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtkadmit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtkadmit, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Omtkadmit's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Omtkadmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve kilts.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near whales while wearing blue jumpers and balancing three nickel spheres on your hands.