Ortdud is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, selfish fairy.

Ortdud created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortdud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ortdud, he will not invite you to parties.

Ortdud's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ortdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Retreat if five porpoises approach from the north.

3. Hide from purple voles for they are unholy.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear kilts.