Narlakfudcedjabzen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, contented porpoise.

Narlakfudcedjabzen created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlakfudcedjabzen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Narlakfudcedjabzen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Narlakfudcedjabzen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Narlakfudcedjabzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near aardvarks while wearing turquoise tights and balancing five titanium spheres on your face.