Botyakrap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tiresome crow.

Botyakrap created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Botyakrap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Botyakrap, it will turn you into a tree.

Botyakrap's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Botyakrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Never paint your hands brown.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about fire.