Kamdusstindap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful slug.

Kamdusstindap created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamdusstindap, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kamdusstindap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Kamdusstindap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kamdusstindap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers on fasting days.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never prepare melons during winter.

4. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

5. Do not resist chaos.