Loptigced Flisquafsom is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, flying mole.

Loptigced Flisquafsom created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loptigced Flisquafsom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Loptigced Flisquafsom, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Loptigced Flisquafsom's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Loptigced Flisquafsom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never mention birds.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never bounce near nematodes.