Stikwot is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, slow dugong.

Stikwot created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikwot, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stikwot, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stikwot's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Stikwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Hide if four badgers approach from the north.