Vadarpjat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, generous mouse.

Vadarpjat created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadarpjat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vadarpjat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vadarpjat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vadarpjat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Vadarpjat on top of important buildings.

4. Do not travel during spring.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.