Wotpakbum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent salamander.

Wotpakbum created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotpakbum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wotpakbum, it will turn you into a mouse.

Wotpakbum's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Wotpakbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never speak aloud of numbers.

4. Never prepare bread during spring.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.