Banruttun is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, conceited naga.

Banruttun created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Banruttun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Banruttun, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Banruttun's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Banruttun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick bats.

2. Never bounce near whales.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed melons to snakes while wearing turquoise trousers.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.