Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring seal.

Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril.

2. Ratnurfid Bissarmnull Vinvogril loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not kill shrews.