Rotnullyakvenbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unfair lobster.

Rotnullyakvenbeg created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotnullyakvenbeg, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rotnullyakvenbeg, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rotnullyakvenbeg's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Rotnullyakvenbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not place bread upon stone.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never mention geese.

5. Rotnullyakvenbeg loves capybaras, so they must be respected.