Flanhotpom is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, uncaring gerbil.

Flanhotpom created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanhotpom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flanhotpom, she will think nothing of it.

Flanhotpom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Flanhotpom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to tapirs while wearing turquoise coats.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must love Flanhotpom.