Barn is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous dingo.

Barn created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barn, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Barn, he will laugh at you.

Barn's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Barn's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Never feed lots of strawberries to voles while wearing mauve shirts.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Always pray immersed in water.