Raklopzed is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, contented raccoon.

Raklopzed created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Raklopzed, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Raklopzed, he will turn you into a goat.

Raklopzed's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Raklopzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never talk about nebulae.