Figlunlistdad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awesome lobster.

Figlunlistdad created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figlunlistdad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Figlunlistdad, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Figlunlistdad's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Figlunlistdad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near turtles while wearing cyan shorts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your chest.