Flagontquam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, effective cobra.

Flagontquam created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagontquam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flagontquam, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flagontquam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flagontquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never allow ducks to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing black boots and balancing six titanium spheres on your arms.