Nurthubvig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, vain rhinoceros.

Nurthubvig created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurthubvig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurthubvig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurthubvig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Nurthubvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.