Tadzoglib is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, boastful pig.

Tadzoglib created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadzoglib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tadzoglib, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tadzoglib's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tadzoglib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near grasshopers while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing three carbon spheres on your hands.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tadzoglib.

5. Never wear boots.