Lidfemdib is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, vain clam.

Lidfemdib created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidfemdib, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lidfemdib, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lidfemdib's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Lidfemdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Hide from mauve otters for they are unholy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never run in the presence of badgers.

5. Never paint your head indigo.