Genkonjab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, irritating chicken.

Genkonjab created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genkonjab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Genkonjab, she will boil you in a big pot.

Genkonjab's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Genkonjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing blue ear rings and balancing four silver spheres on your back.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Genkonjab.

5. Always help seals.