Fetdossarm is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, loving spider.

Fetdossarm created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetdossarm, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fetdossarm, she will be very sad.

Fetdossarm's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fetdossarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Fetdossarm in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear jumpers.