Bitmegrip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unfair elephant.

Bitmegrip created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitmegrip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bitmegrip, he will turn you into a goat.

Bitmegrip's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bitmegrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray immersed in water.