Mapnarlfun is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair narwhal.

Mapnarlfun created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapnarlfun, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapnarlfun, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Mapnarlfun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Mapnarlfun's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Mapnarlfun.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mapnarlfun.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.