Wadfubkar is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witty faun.

Wadfubkar created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadfubkar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wadfubkar, she will try to impress you with trees.

Wadfubkar's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Wadfubkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near squirrels while wearing mauve trousers.

2. Always remove corsets before touching lead.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help capybaras.

5. Never hurt shrews.