Dubjaplat Vilquafrutt Quafnartmob is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, flying dolphin.

Dubjaplat Vilquafrutt Quafnartmob created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubjaplat Vilquafrutt Quafnartmob, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dubjaplat Vilquafrutt Quafnartmob, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dubjaplat Vilquafrutt Quafnartmob's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dubjaplat Vilquafrutt Quafnartmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed lots of cucumbers to aardvarks while wearing brown coats.