Gubzimzig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, vain crane.

Gubzimzig created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubzimzig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gubzimzig, he will destroy your favourite star.

Gubzimzig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gubzimzig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gubzimzig seven times a day.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.