Gigsandgup Tonlatvol is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, fussy ferret.

Gigsandgup Tonlatvol created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigsandgup Tonlatvol, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gigsandgup Tonlatvol, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gigsandgup Tonlatvol's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gigsandgup Tonlatvol's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gigsandgup Tonlatvol.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near goats while wearing brown kilts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Never talk about snakes.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Respect your elders.