Fitlinfetnar is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous dog.

Fitlinfetnar created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitlinfetnar, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fitlinfetnar, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fitlinfetnar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fitlinfetnar's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Hide if three voles approach from the east.