Lamcisslop is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, clever gorilla.

Lamcisslop created parasitic wasps eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamcisslop, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lamcisslop, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lamcisslop's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lamcisslop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Worship no other gods but Lamcisslop.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lamcisslop.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

5. Never think about cell theory.