Hapfadfob is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic dingo.

Hapfadfob created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Hapfadfob, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hapfadfob, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Hapfadfob's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hapfadfob's Holy Commandments

1. Hapfadfob must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hapfadfob on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapfadfob.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.