Fobbontap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable tapir.

Fobbontap created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobbontap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fobbontap, she will turn you into a sheep.

Fobbontap's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Fobbontap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always help seals.