Ortgetzenkamwat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciless goat.

Ortgetzenkamwat created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgetzenkamwat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ortgetzenkamwat, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Ortgetzenkamwat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ortgetzenkamwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gulls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.