Tarcanmig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered centaur.

Tarcanmig created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarcanmig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tarcanmig, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tarcanmig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tarcanmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after shrews.

2. Always remove scarves before touching gold.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near dogs while wearing pink rings.

4. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near porpoises while wearing purple dresses and balancing six carbon spheres on your arms.