Dubwotfud Flowrulgov Artwodflis is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, competent hamster.

Dubwotfud Flowrulgov Artwodflis created an electron six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubwotfud Flowrulgov Artwodflis, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dubwotfud Flowrulgov Artwodflis, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Dubwotfud Flowrulgov Artwodflis' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Dubwotfud Flowrulgov Artwodflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing pink boots.

3. Hide if eight shrews approach from the north.

4. Run away if six foxes approach from the east.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.