Rigvoglat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud manatee.

Rigvoglat created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rigvoglat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rigvoglat, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Rigvoglat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Rigvoglat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing red rings and balancing six nickel spheres on your back.

2. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.