Tonfobmid is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered grasshopper.

Tonfobmid created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonfobmid, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tonfobmid, he will torture you forever.

Tonfobmid's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tonfobmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Retreat if four tapirs approach from the south.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Tonfobmid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat bark.