Pidstiplun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair clam.

Pidstiplun created the planet Saturn four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidstiplun, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pidstiplun, it will turn you into a hamster.

Pidstiplun's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Pidstiplun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to ducks while wearing mauve hats.

2. Erect nine tin sculptures of Pidstiplun on top of important buildings.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.