Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful bat.

Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Do not take Pandibmigjoplidtapnelbarn Dibmatlab's name in vain.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if four pigs approach from the west.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.