Gilkaplab Matsawtap is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, grumpy swan.

Gilkaplab Matsawtap created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilkaplab Matsawtap, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gilkaplab Matsawtap, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gilkaplab Matsawtap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gilkaplab Matsawtap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gilkaplab Matsawtap first in all things.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Gilkaplab Matsawtap loves turtles, so they must be respected.