Wanhin Stafnadcub is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless porpoise.

Wanhin Stafnadcub created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wanhin Stafnadcub, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Wanhin Stafnadcub, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wanhin Stafnadcub's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Wanhin Stafnadcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Feed all hungry ducks.

3. Never leap in the presence of mice.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.