Govweeomt is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, smart walrus.

Govweeomt created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govweeomt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govweeomt, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Govweeomt's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Govweeomt's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to snails while wearing indigo boots.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Never eat green fruit.