Xuclenxem is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, able dugong.

Xuclenxem created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuclenxem, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xuclenxem, he will turn you into a goat.

Xuclenxem's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Xuclenxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Xuclenxem must be the most important thing in your life.