Bedviglab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome dolphin.

Bedviglab created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedviglab, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bedviglab, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bedviglab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bedviglab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never look at planets.